No trespassing

TODAY has been beautiful.

It had the worrrst start. I woke up early to study for my voice midterm, and I mean really, who likes to wake up early? I love my voice lesson but it's only one credit and a lot to memorize on top of the 20 other songs I have between two choirs, so lets just say, I wasn't ready. But it went okay. I managed to somehow get the words out and make coherent french sentences. Si mes vers ont eu des ailes....Then I went to Oceans... WOOOH... (Plankton from Spongebob is classified as a Copepod, who knew?)
What really made my morning bad was just some disappointing news that I won't be able to see my boyfriend tomorrow, we were planning on meeting at the Getty. I wont get to see him for like a trillion more dayyyyyssss (next tuesday! Haha!) Waaaaahhh !!!
It's hard being away from home, its hard missing people, "long distance" (even if it's only 2 hours) is hard.

That's not to say that we can't do it, because we can, we are and we will. But its just hard. I'm just sooo ready for spring breeeeak AHHHHH !!!

What turned today around was meeting with the campus pastor, and just talking. About everything, but with no direction, just taaalking. She's really awesome, and it was just what I needed.
Then while I was walking back to my room I noticed what a nice day it was outside (how easily we overlook these things and take them for granted, right?) and I thought hey maybe Id like to stay outside today.
Wednesdays are really cool for me because I have a 4 hour break in between classes. Haahaha.

SO I put on tennis shoes and decided to venture out farrrr beyond the confines of West Residence Hall, into the hills, up to (dun dun dunnnnnnnn.....) THE CROSS!!(Its actually part of CLU property and its like a 30 minute walk.. hike? but it's really cool, it's up on the hill with the CLU rocks, which are currently painted a hideous yellow color)
Im so glad I went today. I was like... birds? Lizard?? Flowers?? Wind??? Air???? What is all thisss????
And it was beauuutifullllll up there. I used to go a lot last year, just as a work out kind of and then I would run back down, but I always stopped at the cross. But today I prayed a little bit and I reflected. And it was gooooooood.
It was so awesome to just sit and clear my head and watch some birds fly around and look at the view.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God" I just needed a quiet reminder like that =D

I also found a new path! I mean I had seen it before but I never walked that way, so I went up therrrre, I decided I wanted to go to the highest point on the next hill. Soo I headed that way.

There were a bunch of cacti, it kind of looked like the thicket of thorns that Simba falls into... yeaknow?

I walked until I found a "No trespassing" sign...

Then I stepped over it and trekked onward.

And I was glad I did that, hahahaa. Its not really important enough to make it my title but uh yeeeah, Im keeping it.

I want to go to Malibu Creek State Park soooon, maybe next time Sara and Jav come see mee! Yes??

Anyway then the rest of my day was normalllll. I went to choir and work and now Im watching a movie. I CANT WAIT TILL SPRING BREAKKKKKKK, come quiiiiiiick, thaanks!!!

The end.

NYYOU

Crystal Diamond Ruby

Today was a good day toooo. I would rather be home, but what can you do?

My roommate and I went to a play called the Most Massive Woman Wins, and it was SOO GOOODDD!!! It was all about body image and empowerment! My friend Storie was in it and she did sooo well, she was soo goood!! There was a part they were all in their underwear and I was so proud of her for being up there. Freaking goooodddd duuudddde. I cried! HAHA! Every girl in the whole place did Im sure, it was so so good. Just about like self esteem and stuff and things we alllllll struggle with. 

Um alsooo today, Cameron drew this picture at work. He was just drawing it and it turned out to look JUST like my chemistry teacher from high school! Hahaaaa!!

OK thats all goodnight!!

Life was good today

I forgot to blog last night, oooops!!
Buttttt ummm.. yeah! Yesterday was a pretty good day!

My Ocean's class had to go to the Long Beach Aquarium on a field trip, so 

my roommate, her cousin, our friend from class and I decided to go to 

the beach after. That was really funnn!! We layed out for a long time and walked down the beach,  and I swam. It was soo nice out too it was really awesome. And thennnnn sense I drove and  I paid for gas I was like weee should go to Huntington and visit my grandparents! It was only about 10 minutes away, so that worked out really well. It was good to see themmm!!! They looked a lottt better than last time I saw them. My grampa has parkinsense and my grandma takes care of him but she recently broke her back so its been hard on them. They have a caretaker living with them though so that's good. 

Im really glad they dont live in a retirement home. Or any kind of nursing home.
I work at a nursing home. Mmm.. no. Don't let your people live there, Im serious. Especially especially memory care. Just a warning. Hahh.
But anyway they looked a lot better, and Im gonna see them this weekend too with the rest of my family. Weeeh!

Anyway that was yesterday. Im getting in a better mood but still not a good one. Im so emo, but I really just want to go home.

<3

Self fulfilling prophecy

This morning I vowed to have a better day. SO. Today was a good day.

We had a quiz in Oceans and I hate Oceans, it is quiiiiite miserable. I dont know anything about the ocean, or tides, or tectonic plates... eh.

And I straightened my hair today for the first time in monnnths! Its long! I had no idea! HAH!

Tonight was pretty fun, we went to Geisha House for dinner in Hollywood with my roommate's cousin from Rhode Island =)It was fun, I love Hollywood, I love urban paces like that. I love the city and the lights and the people watching!!
The coolest thing about today was that I got to see another old friennnd =) That really turned my night around. Because before I was annoyed with traffic and people and uh.. stuff... yeah.
So I was like JOHN! Do you still live in Hollywooood?? And he dooooes, yay! And so we met up after dinner and it was soooo nice to just talk and catch uppp. Ahhh!! I love every single person from my high school seriously. You should just know this. I have the best friends ever ever everrrr. And it made me homesick, but also really happy. He's doing so well too and he's graduating tomorrow and he's HAPPY which is really cool. I love to see people just doing what they want to do and really getting the most out of life. Its awesome. He's cool.

Now Im just haaaangin out in the dorm. Kbell and I were watching a piece on Tyra about these enormously obesse women who want to be bigger and uhh.. that was weird... Im a little disturbed. But yeeeah.
That is my friday for youuu.


Also, tuition went up for next year (won't apply to me until after Egypt but still), and I just made another payment for Italy, and I dont get paid till next week, and I have 30 something dollars in my bank account! AH! And Im always really stressed out about money, and I would like it if one day I would either stop caring or have enough to not worry about it. Thankssss.

I cant wait for Javi to call me tonight =), then he will open my package I sent =), then I can go to sleeeeep, then I will wake up and it will be one day closer to spring break, which is gonna be awesome. (I mean I have to work, and so does everyone else, and I wont be home the whole time, but at least I wont be herrrre) And Ill be with all my favorite people =)

And all my favorite people are these people by the way:

Truly madly deeply seriously, I love these four people more than

 anyone and everyone on the planet besides my parents and my brother. Loves of my liiiiiiife, I tell youuuu!! =D

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Sheltered inconsiderate and rude

Im so over everyone at this school, Im so over everything at this school, Im so over LA traffic, Im so over being pushed around, Im so over going through the motions, Im so over WAITING, Im so over people who can't show appreciation, Im so over over-reactions, Im so over fake bitches, Im so over being looked down on, Im so over being ignored, Im so over the numbers in my bank account, Im so over Oceanography, Im so over low self esteem, Im so over being busy, Im so over this plaaace.

Today was fine, tonight was whatever, but Im in such a bad mood that if I go into details Ill lose some friends.
I am just soo over this place.

I want to go hooooooome. I want to be around people who ACTUALLY care, and respect each other, and have interesting things to do and say. People who get along and can have real conversations and can relate to each other and learn from each other. I mean is that too much to ask, really?

I miss Javi and Alyssa and Sara and my brother and the Elizas and Kyle and Charles, people who dont find it such a huge burden to listen to what I have to say, people who support me.

And this blog is SOO selfish, I understand that. But we all need a support system. We all need to be accepted and loved for who we are not who everyone wants us to be. Not finding that can turn even the best places and experiences into bad ones.
Some days I really dont think Ive found that here. Some days its fine. We do have a lot of fun together. Some days we all really connect, some days everyone gets along. But usually someone gets rubbed the wrong way. And if the other girls are rubbed the wrong way, you better clear a wide path and keep away, but not the slightest consideration is given towards me. I get trampled on every day and Im tiiiired.

Its not like this every day of course, and Idk there's always a chance Im over-reacting too, but I just am sooo annoyed right nowww.



I need a Javi hug, but I dont get to see him for like 10 more days =( And he's already asleep so no phone call =/ Haha.


Ok whatever I just need to cool off, it truly isnt a big deal. Im just tired of it.

(Its because Im spoiled and I lived a happy cushiony life where everyone was pleasant and kind until I moved to TO) Rawr.


Whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I love you strange people who read this <333>

Home is where the heart is !!

Wellllll there ya gooo =))

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sdalfkbwelrb lksdbfb sklbaw

I was planning on a real blog today but the weirdest wave of tired just hit me so I think I might just try and catch it while its here.
Today was a really nice day dispite its business. Im trying to do more "me" things so I can be less stressed out and enjoy my time here more, so today I took my book up to the top of the stands at the football field and enjoyed the gorgeous weather =)
That was the highlight of my day, besiiiiiiiiiiides of course the amazing texts my Javi sends me. Miss him =/ Miss home.

Love you love you love you goodnight !!



(This has nothing to do with anything, buttttt I want ittt ^)

Sunny days

I looove rainy days. I love the rain in general. I grew up with constant showers and rain storms, it holds such awesome memories for me, and Id definitely take it over the 105 degree weather we get at home in July.
BUT today was the first beautiful sunny day in a while, and thooose, well those are wonderful too.
Campus transformed today. Everyone was wearing dresses and tank tops and shorts. People were eating their lunches outside. There were more joggers and people walking dogs through campus. I saw the most beautiful duck in the stream through the park, and plenty of bunnies everywhere. And everyone seemed more smiley and wavey (yes those are the grammatically correct terms)
It was a nice day =)

I wasn't happy when it started. I was tired (thankkkks daylight savings!!) and some people I ran into in the earlier hours of the day were a little less than cheery.
I started today out the wrong way, but Im glad it turned around.
I woke up and immediately started my "I dont want to be here. I want to go home. Im tired. I dont want to do this. Why do I have a practical tomorrow? Why is my Italy payment due? Why cant I go home this weekend? Why do I have to be 2 hours away from everyone? Why am I heeeeere??"
That's kind of been the usual lately, I hate to admit it =/ Im not being myself when Im here, and I need to fix that!!

But the day got a lot better as it went on. My drawing class got to take an excursion outside to draw in the park. It was sooo beautiful! And my arms got some sun (I need it!!) Choir got out early today, which is always nice. I mean I love it so muccch but a break is always nice.
Also, I gave our friend Andrew violin lessons today!! He's one of those "I wish I played something. OH! Ill buy a violin" type people. Must be nice right? Hahahaa. So we learned Hot Crossed Buns and Marry Had a Little Lamb today. And all about tuning and posture. Wooooh.
It was really fun actually, it reminded me of when I used to give Charles voice lessons. OMG. Haaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh...... I miss the old days sometiiiimes!!

I guess I did a lot today but I dont feel like it because I still have a lot left to do... oops...
Whatever EFFFFFF college, I have such bad Spring Fever AHHH!!!

Also, going off of Sara's perfectly articulated side note, if you read this, could you maybe comment or something orrrr stop being a creeper?? kthannnnks.

ALSO.
Im in love. The end.

This is so old but chyeeea... <33333333

Blarrrgggggg

Today I drove a lot. Bakersfield- T.O.- Pasadena- T.O.
I woke up at 6 but it was really 5 because of Daylight savings.... woooh..
But I actually had a really good day! We celebrated my grandma's 88th birthday with some of my family. One of my mom's sisters and one of her brothers and on of my cousins, it was nice. Im always really excited when everyone is civil. Hahah!!
My grandma is SO cool though seriously. She wears high heals everyday. And has an awesome accent. And is a Gthugggg pretty much. She's older than the hills!!!

Yesterday was loooovely toooo =) I went shopping with my mama, then I got to hang out with my Boooo for a while and he came over for dinner at my house. Annnd my baby godbrother was there and he's so sweet and wonderful!! He's 3 =) He calls me sissy =))))
After that, Javi and I went to our friend Taylor's dad's 50th birthday party for a while. Its always nice to see people from high school. Well for me at least. I guess not everyone loved high school as much as I did! Haha!! But it was fun. We ate a bunch and danced a little bit =) "Iiiiiiiiiill be your cryin sholderrrr" Also: drunk old people are hysterical!! leslie Chow and Black Ninja!! Woot!

It was really nice to spend time with Javi this weekend =) He's the greatessstttt <3333333333333333333333333333333333333

And Sean had a big party to end all partieees at xcleanhousex on friday! I had a lot of fun!! Too bad Im almost 20 years old but I still have a curfew! AH!! Hahaa!! It was so fun though, pretty much everyone I care about was there besides my girls from college.
I saw my best friend Alyssa (and we went on a date to elephant bar before the partay!) annnd I saw my best guy friend, Kyle, annnnnd I saw my best girl friend Sara annnnnd I saw my favorite boy everrrr, Javi, annnd I got to see old friends from high school, annnnd Chris and Sean and CHUBBZ! Good deal =)

I love my life, I really do =)

Im sorry I suck at blogging todayyyy, Im so tired and my brain is dead and my eyeballs hurt.
Ok goodnight!!

Title:

Now Playing: If You Have To Ask- Claire Marie Winters
(She's in choir with me and her (original) music is sooo so goooood, find her on myspace DOO ITTTT!!!)

Today was again SO busy. Running around like a crazy person is what college is about I guess though. But the good news is that some deadlines got pushed back, and that took succcch a huge load off my shoulders! Now I can relax this weekend!! I can't wait to go HOOOOOOOME AHH!!!
But today actually wasnt bad!! Especially when classes were finished! Haha! Shelby's mom took Skelly, Kbell, Shelb and I to get manicures and pedicures!! It was soo nice. The massage chairs are like heaven incarnate OMGGGG. I really needed that. Ah! Love!!
And Improv was really funny!! But I only caught the last half of the show because I was at work. But whatever. Work was good too, here is what I learned....
If you want to waist hours of your life being really frustrated, you can play this game (I got to level 7!!)

http://www.addictinggames.com/theworldshardestgame.html =)

Oh and alsoooo, I was researching gangs in LA for this outreach program we're doing in april. Im supposed to plan an activity and a devotion, yikesss. Becoming involved in this was my idea of a way to feel more rooted here. Idk, maybe itll work?? Its gonna be awesome at least. Planning's going well and everyone's really jazzed and we're gonna go to Rosco's Chicken and Waffles!! And paint over graffiti in some inner city areas.
Well anyway, I was researching and I found some really heart wrenching stuff. I read a paper about family life with members of gangs, and I saw pictures of babies laying on the same bed their parents were counting drug money on (guns and drugs all present), and there were pictures of beatings and parties and members shooting up. It broke my heart =/ I really hope we can all learn a lot from this trip and try and find ways to help programs that work with gang prevention.

Im constantly reminded of how lucky I am. I have wonderful parents. I have a good home and great friends. Its crazy to think that it could just as easily have been me born in a gang area or a third world country or something completely different. And think how different out lives would be if that was the case!
Im so thankful for these reminders though, I hope I never take what I have for granted. I mean Im no Rockefeller, but Im so rich in lovvve =) And on top of that, I have a sense of security and safety, and I have resources and support. I mean I am so ridiculously blessed.




My childhood could just as easily looked like this,

What are you gonna do with that??

When talking about degrees, people loooooove to ask the question "what are you gonna do with that?"
Well my faculty advisor, Dr. Samuel Thomas (Yale graduate, featured historian on the History Channel, and Dead Sea Scroll scholar) has a beautiful answer to that ever so annoying question:

"Im becoming a better person. And an interesting one at that."

=)
SO TAKE THAT

I really dont have any qualms about not having my future figured out. I know itll work out. I have faith =)

It's really cool to to have some re-assurance though. Dr. Thomas is the greatest, he's excited about my upcoming trips, and he's totally confident that I don't need to have stuff figured out, his support is really awesome.


In other news:
- Today was crazy and busy and I had no time to breathe, even though wednesday is always my rest!
- I worked for 5 hours today!! (not long in the real world, but SO long in Library Land!!) But I worked with my favorite co-worker tonight and I love my boss, so it was totally fine. We ended up talking about crazy and intense stuff from gay marriage to if hell exists to how weird families are. Hahaha. It was a really good work night. =)
- Im going to Cairo in the fall!!! I can't believe the support Im getting relating to this, Im so blessed!! My parents are always behind me and my friends are excited and understanding, and Javi is just plain amazing. I know it's gonna be hard on us, but in the long run, what's 3 months of the rest of our lives? I love him so much, his support keeps me going, his love makes me stronger.
- So that was my day. The little things make a huge difference =)
- Im soo excited for this weekend, two big parties, which means lots of smiling familiar lovely faces!! And my Oma's 88th birthday party! Yay families (well we'll see how that goes...)

Oh and also, hopefully a lesson was learned today: there are stories one should never put on the internet. Lets all remember we can talk to each other and work things out befooore we go on a rampage that could potentially ruin our closest friends. Okthanksbyyyye.


(There is no rhyme or reason behind the selection of this picture)

Life Goals:

Ive never known what career path to take, or what my future will hold. Ive never had it figured out. But Im begininng to understand that, for me at least, its bigger than anything I thought. Its not about a cubicle and a nice paycheck. Security is nice, but I never want to be too comfortable, what fun is that?

Im not concerned with society's ideas of "success." Im not concerned with wealth really, or fame. I don't care about the status of my job, my title, or my family. I care about people and people's lives, I care about the earth, I care about God's plan for me, I care about good will, I care about art and music and expression. I care about relationships.

I want to really live. I want to feel new and intense and crazy things! I want to experience, I want to learn, I want to meet people, create bonds, share, confront, write, responf. I want to touch lives and make a difference. I want to be filled. I want to see things Ive never heard or dreamed of, I want to hear new sounds, I want to hear complete silence. I want to connect, I want to question, I want to expand, I want to LIVE.


"The longing for paradise is paradise itself." - Kahlil Gibran
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." -Helen Keller
"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." - Christopher Morley

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If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

- Emily Dickinson

I'm so proud this pride week =)

This week is PRIDE WEEK here at Cal Lu!! There are gonna be ton of events like documentary showings and a gender bender ball!! It's all just to raise awareness and give the gay community some comfort here at school so they can feel comfortable with who they are =)
Tonight the event was a drag show! It was ridiiiiculous. It was sooo funny (and meant to be so). They had a Ke$ha and a Beyonce and a Cher, omg it was just hysterical. Probably the funniest thing Ive seen in a long time. The GSA at my school is amazing.





Im so proud of my school this week. And the ELCA in general for their vote to ordain gay pastors who are monogamous. Wooh!
Im really loving watching some walls come down and stereotypes being confronted and truth being realized.

And if you're uncomfortable looking at it from a religious standpoint, its still an exciting moment for human rights!

Gay rights are civil rights.

The world is changing, and Im excited to witness it and be a part of it!
=D

Other then that my day was completely boring and a complete waist of my life.
Unproductive at best.

We'll see what tomorrow brings!!

A Short Novel

Chapter 1: Surprises

Friday started just as any other. Mundane things like eating and a meeting and a drawing class. None of it was important anyway, I was just waiting anxiously to see my dear Sara who was coming down to spend the weekend with me at CLU, Kyle at Camp Pendelton and James at USC =)
I was sitting on my our extra bed when Skelly went to open the door for our friend Andrew. But then! Sara came running into the room instead! Yay!! So I was talking to her for a second AND THENNNNNNNNNN
JAVI walks in!! With flowwwwers! Beautiful Gerber daises!! Ahhhh!!!
I was soo excited to see him!!!!!!!! It was our two month anniversary of our first date. Hahah. And he'd been telling all day that he was at work and that he had to do family things this weekend and that he'd miss meee, liaaaar!!! =) I was SO SO SOOOO SO happy =)) AM SO SO SOOOOO SO happy I should say!
Then we visited Shelby in the hospital, partaaayyyyy. And then we had a lovvvely trip to the mall! And!! I didnt buy anything at forever or Urban or Love Culture!! I had so much self control =) Woohhh! Oh annd Javi insisted he walk around Forever 21 holding hands with Andrew just for our embarrassment. Hahaha. It was fun =) After that we had a delicious meal at Cheesecake!
Thennnnnnnnn we all went back to my room where I was greeted by a rushed "DONT COME IN IM NOT DESCENT!!" Followed by a "go out to the car with Javi, Sara stay here" Hahaaha!!
Then we came back inside and there was a beeautiful giant poster:


YAYYYYYYYYYY!!! Seriously, Javi does the sweetest things Ive ever heard of in the entire world, I couldnt imagine any way I could be treated better. It's kind of ridiculous =)
Oh and then we had a FBO ceremony and everyone "liked" it, it was quite exciting!
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!
And he's sweet and thoughtful and creative and adorable and wonderful!!!! =D
I couldn't imagine a more beautiful night/day =)

Chapter 2: Love and Birthdays

In the morning, Sara got to visit Kyle (after some pizza related drama and superiors acting like complete douche bags) and Javi and I had breakfast and visited Shelby and got to play with Rambo a little bit!
Then at 5 we left for Los Angeles for James' birthday celebration at USC =)
James is my best guy friend. And my life coach. He's always there and he has excellent advice and he's super fun and awesome. It was so good to hang out, Im so glad we got to go down. His college friends are pretty cool, more importantly, his girlfriend is AWESOME and his best friend from home came down from SD too and it was really cool to see him too!!
We all dressed uppp (Javi looked so cute he was wearing an argyle sweater that I love! Haha!) and went to Indian food with a few of his friends from school! I got chicken VINDALOO! Like from RENT! La vie Boheme! WOOOHH!! And it was actually really good, and the atmosphere of the restaurant was really cool too, they had bollywood music videos playing on an TV (I'm obsessed. I would like to learn to dance like that. Please and thank you. OH and the jewelry is likkkkkke AHHH).
I think Sara could be Indian!!! Because her hair is so shiny and silky. I think Indian or Persian like some kind of middle eastish but Indian might actually be a really good candidate bc its kind of asian and she has such nice hair. Ok that's enough of that. Hahahaha!!
After dinner we went back to James' for the partayyy and we had beergaritas and had a marvelous time hanging out =)) I really really really love my friends =) Never a dull moment! Oh and boyfriend!! He is included in that ^
It was even nice driving around with himmmm, he made me a CD =)) He's the absolute greatest!!
Oh and then we all went to sleep in James' room and got stepped on by his roommate. Drunk people are fun =) Furrrrreeealz.






Chapter 3: Things to do at the Lu

First of all, it must have been national "text Kjrstin at 7am" day because like 4 people did. WTF NOT COOL!! Whatevvvv.
We woke up at likkkke 10ish, Javi is a baby giraffe, we ate some egos, packed up, hit the roaddd.
It was sad to leave. Well not sad like boohoo but sad as in I wish my weekends were 10 days long, and sad like "ew I have to go back to reality now" which common, who likes reality? Not me.
Oh but really cool: I am getting slightly better at directions!! (Still bad but not asssssss bad! WOOH!)
So we drove back and I had my baby with meeee and we listened to some tunes and spoke in accents and every moment spent with him is a wonderful one =)
Thennnn Im very sad to say, Javi and Sara left me =( Back to Bakersfield and the real world =/
But I had the most wonderful wonderful weekend thanks to them =))) I have amazing friends too for helping Javi out with stuff, ahhhh man. Idk, have I told you? I am ridiculously blessed =D

Alsoooooo, I went to an operetta spoof today, it was soo so gooood!! I love musicals (DUH) but it is extra awesome when you know 90% of the cast! They were all amazing! And I have a huge crush on the two main girls. HAHA! Just kidding, but am I?? And Alex is sooo talented! I wish we did musicals in high school because he would have rocked them!! It was succch a fun show, I loved it!!!! And my friend Taylor from high school came down to see Alex too! So afterwards we went to froyo and talked about life and it was marvelous =)
So I guess being at school is alright. Oh wait, thats only if there are Bakersfield people involved.
I did have a fun night with the girls though, we bought Martinelli's and glasses, chips, cookies, streamers and flowers and had an Oscars party in Shelby's room!! =)
She's getting out tomorrow if everything goes according to plan! YAYYY!!!!!






Chapter 4: The End

In conclusion:
This weekend was fantastic and amazing and definitely top 5 of sophomore year =)
I have amazing friends! I have a fantastic boyfriend!! And I love my life, I really doooo =)))))
And here's a picture to sum up our lives =) Hahaha!!



With love and affection and fond memories and my most sincere apologies for not writing yesterday,
Kjrstin

Beatitude, blessedness, bliss, delectation, delight, delirium, ecstasy, elation, enchantment,

HAPPINESS !!



I don't even know where to staaart, this has just been such an amazing day =))
Surprises and shopping and friends and SURPRISES and questions and GLITTER and happiness and JOY!!
Details and mooooore to come, but for now, just know:

Kjrstin Ingrid Berg = Happiest girl on eeeeearth!!






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ADHD

Now Playing:Quelqu'un M'a Dit from 500 Days of Summer Soundtrack (Umm.. no I don't speak french) Its really pretty thooo!!

Ive started writing like 3 blogs today. But theyre all topics that I want to articulate properly, so being as I mayyy have ADHD and I'm too lazy to write anything GOOD I think I will save them for another day. Maybe one day at work or something.
Lets just talk about today shall we?

My religion class was so intense and awesome today, I freaking LOVE my major. My mind gets blowwwn every tuesday and thursday, by the beautiful Julia Fogg, who is an ordained presbyterian pastor who studies a lot of inter-religion beliefs and might want to become muslim. HAHA! She's really cool.
Studying religion is so mind-opening. I learn so much every day. And I always thought I knew a ton about this stuff, but this is no sunday school class! Other Gospels, the beloved disciple, wrong translations, things the church loves to over-look, crazy stuff dude seriously. Succch a good class.

What else did I even do today? Ummm.. Oh I hung out with Shelby at the hospital again which is our home away from home these days! But its comfy, I dont really mind. It was nice to just hang out with her too, its been a while sense we've had one-on-one time and it was really good. And she's doing better and better! She should be out by this weekend!!
I adore her =)

So logistically I guess, that was my day.
Today was one of those weird homesick days though. I hate being homesick, especially because I never evvvver ever got homesick ever until I moved to college. Even when I was little, being away from home never bothered me.
But Im homesick here. And I still feel like a visitor sometimes. At my school, at work, even in the dorms sometimes. This isn't really "home." Bakersfield is home. And it's actually the first place I've ever dubbed that before too. I miss HOME.

I miss my bed, and my down comforter (Im not sure why it's not here with me, I should re-think that). I miss my little brother who refuses to have a phone conversation with me (teenagers, ugh). I miss homemade meals. I miss my dad's "it'll work out" kind of encouragement. I miss my mom's hugs. I miss my dog and her loud snoring and her annoying barking! I miss driving past my high school. I miss the retirement home that I waitress at. I miss being inspired to write and to make things and to play music. I miss how excited everyone gets when the sky is blue. And I miss my friiiiiends. Seriously. Serrriously seriously.

I've been really blessed throughout my life in that Ive always had a really good community of friends. I still keep in touch with girls I knew in elementary school who live 2000 miles away. And my group from home, ahhh, I can't even tell you how wonderful each of them are!! =)
In junior high I met my best friend, Alyssa. This is the girl that God seriously designated to be my best friend. And I'm hers. She's quite literally saved me over and over again and I dont know where, or who, I would be without her. She knows me and she gets me and she is always always there, encouraging and wonderful and loving <3
Then there's the choir girls =) My high school choir opened up about 99% of the doors to the best things in my life for me. I would have been so lost through high school without it.
I miss Sara (but I get to see her tomorrow YAY!!!!!) Sara's my best friend from high school =) She's sweet and funny and adorable and wonderful! She brings such a bright light into the lives of everyone who knows her, and I really can feel the absence of it when Im here for too long.
My friends are the most beautiful girls inside and out. I miss Melanie and Andrea and Paula and Monavie and Rachel and Theresa and Hannah and Michelle and Jennifer and Gina and Emily and Bree and Stevie!! Theyre so great I dont even CARE if I never make anymore friends, Im set, seriously.
Im so so blessed, but Ive been spoiled and now my heart really aches for them. Especially when I think about how long it's gonna be until I see some of them =/
And I miss the choir boys! And I miss the "cool asians"! And I miss the girls I worked with! And I really miss Kyle and Charles! And ASIAN!
And every every day, most of all, I miss Javier Valencia, who has stolen my heart and apparently my mind too! Long distance is hard, even if it's just two measly hours over a mountain range. Even if I get to see him once a week, that's not good enough for me. I want him all the time =/ all day every day.
But I guess it's okay we don't spend every second together, I wouldn't want this to fizzle out. Not that it could.
We were friends first. We know each other so well and we've been through so much together, and that is why this is gonna work. And I can't tell you how, but I know it's real. And the aching pain I feel from missing him everyday is only a small percentage of the evidence.
(Hahahahaaa, Im gonna write a whole blog about my transformation into "one of those girls" one of these days. Its very interesting to see actually.) Whatever I dont care about being cliche or corny, I love this kid, seriously. =)

So thaaat's how I feel today. Ive had quite a range of emotions today from revelation to loneliness to anger (it takes a lot for me to get angry too but I could have killed a bitch today, just for a second. just sayin)
Jedi dont get angry though because anger leads to the dark side, so I had to put it to rest. And now all is well.

Also I ate some chocolate covered strawberries today and that was awesome.

So I guess it was a good day. The best part about it though is that its now over and technically FRIDAY! Which is just the best =) This is gonna be a great weekend, I have a feeling.

Also, two months ago I went out to Mac Grill with Jav and we watched Inglorious Bastards after and Tropic Thunder, and I AM A VERY VERY HAPPY GIRL =D


Ok weird people who read this, GOODNIGHT,
Loove yoooou =))



(This is Alyssa and I at age 13, and dayyyyum do we look good, right?)
=D

Today:

In choir- 

Jessica (who is really cool, but she's from Bakersfield so DUH) - "So who do you think is the most attractive guy in choir?"Kjrstin - "Umm, eh I hate to say it but probably Christ Power? Oh and Alex Cerri."

Jess - "That's what I was thinking too!!"

Kjrstin - "WAIT NO!! I know who it is!!"

Jess - ".... um ok, who?"

Kjrstin - "Dr. Morton"

Jess - "Ooooh!! .... yeah definitely!"

After choir- 

I showed all my rings to the girls in choir and made $31 beautiful dollars!! Not bad for the first try with these girls right?? =) More importantly they liked them and they were all super nice and it gave me this awesome thing called self-esteem! Weeeh!!

In Voice- 

Angela (my teacher) talked about the Bachelor the whole time and I barely even got to sing (but its okay because I didnt practice!!)

In Oceans- 

I got a 67% on the midterm I didnt study for.... BUT with the curve, its a B!! WOOH!

(See this is why I dont study, if I do study it just goes the same way)

In the hospital- 

Shelby (my roommate) was hungry! Woooh good sign!!! She's doing soo much better!! And her mom is here so everything is so much better now!! Yayyy!!

In the mail-

YAY Urban Outfitters stuff came in!!

 ANNND! SURPRISE! It all fits!! Woaaaah!! I was so excitedd!! I think that was my first online shopping experience too btw =) Sweater, t-shirt with a wolf on it (chyea), and knee high stockings, because I'm obsessed =)

In the Pastor's office- 

I met with our campus pastor, Pastor Melissa, who is a friend of my parents from North Dakota!! (SMALL WORLD!) We just got together to talk about liiiife, yeeeeaknow. I told her I'm trying to get more involved, and I'm trying to get out of this weird funk I seem to be in. She was really encouraging and sweet. And awesome. She's really cool. And she made my day, she was like "when I look at you I see someone who was meant for service, you're really gonna help people." That kind of struck a cord and reminded me of what I seemed to have forgotten is important. She also had me do an exercise with these cards that had things like "getting the heart of the matter" and "doing the numbers" on them and I chose which ones I enjoyed doing and which I absolutely hated. Like doing the numbers. Ew. Then she took all the ones I chose and put them in categories. Surprise!! I had twice as many in the "social" category than any of the others. It was all stuff like "bringing joy," "encouraging others," "building relationships," stuff like that. And there were two other ones I thought were really important for myself, "fixing things" and "writing." SO there you go, that is meee. Now what on eeeearth can I even do with those things?? Who even knowwwwwws!!

But she reassured me what Ive known all along, and that is that NO ONE has it all figured out, and those who think they do are naive because its soo subject to change. 

I just need to have faith that it'll work out.

Fiona Apple sings a cute song that says "if there was a better way to go then it would find me." I think that's how its gonna go for me too. God will put me where I need to be =)

Skelly Quote Of The Day- 

"Your choir director is so hansom!! Sometimes when I see him I just want to burst out 'I can't sing!! I'm so sorry!'"

Bahahahaa

OH annnnd, now playing- I Should Have Known Better: Zooey Deschanel <3

Also, I really miss my boy todayyyy. (Yes I'm one of THOOOSE girls. HAHA!!)

No but seriouslyyyy.

<3333333333333333333,

KJ

An Odd Place To Start

Hi world!! Ummmmmmm... Im Kjrstin! Like Keeeeer. Stin.

I'm "lost" as so many of us college students are. But it's not always a bad thing, like anyone has it all figured out anyway!!

So this is my life =) (its a really good one)

Now Playing: Falling For You- Crosstown Rivalry

Sooo here we go I guess.

The "the odd place to start" that I'm referring to in the title is the Las Robles Hospital where I have been sitting next to roommate for the past 16+ hours. (Happy happy joy joy, right?)

It's not so bad though. A lot of people are freaked out by hospitals, at least all my friends at

school seem to be. I guess it's the idea that people are sick here, they're poked and prodded and some even die here. (Omg what if someone died where Im sitting right now! Weird!!) I'm not really freaked out by hospitals though. I'm oddly comfortable in this weird chair/bed I got to sleep in last night. I'm not sure if it's the fact that my dad works in one or if I've just been here too many times or what it is, but it's not a big deal to me.

Sunday we were here too. My roommate has Viral Meningitis, it's not contagious and they can't do anything for it but it's causing her so much pain they're keeping her here to monitor and give her a ton of pain meds. Poor babyyyy right?? =(

I hate stuff like this because I feel so incredibly helpless. I cannot stand things I can't fix. I'm

pretty confrontational about stuff sometimes and if I can fix it I do. Sitting here helpless makes me insane. All I can do is hold her hand and bring her clean cloths and talk to nurses. And give her pitiful sad looks which I know she hates. She's being so strong! But her strength always surprises me.

Well at least it's nice to find a little inspiration in these kind of situations.

I think I'm done for now? Hahaha.

Is this the lamest blog you ever stumbled upon or whaaaat??